6 Ways to ♥ your Body: Part 1

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Did you ever play that game 'I Never' as a drunken teenager?  Drunken teenagers are genius.

It went something like this; we all sit around in a circle taking turns stating things that we've never EVER done, and whom ever had done the unthinkable thing mentioned, has to drink excessive amounts of liquor. (I'm not really sure why this was fun)

Anyhoo, this is kind of like that... only without booze. Unless you wanna.

I've never EVER:
~ said an unkind word to myself about my physical appearance.
~ spent hours of the day calculating the calories I've consumed.
~ weighed myself obsessively then determined my self worth for the day based on that number.
~ gone without meals because the scale was not the number I wanted it to be at. 
~ got so hungry from skipping meals that I then ate an entire package of (insert crappy junk food here)
~ felt so bad about eating an entire package of (crappy junk food) that I wallowed in self loathing. 
~ attempted to cure self loathing by eating a carton of (insert favorite ice cream).
~ spent 4 hours at the gym trying to work off (crappy junk food & favorite ice cream). 
~ wondered why I suck at life. 
~ figured that maybe since I suck at life so much I'd turn to Monica Lewinsky with Weight Watchers, or Jerod from Subway, or Jennifer Aniston and her Atkins,  or The Olsen twins Starbucks diet, or Beyonce with her weird lemonade cleanse thingy or (insert celebrity and crazy diet here)... because these people clearly have shit figured out.
~ beat myself into submission enough to starve/diet myself down to a size whatever... which I could hold for awhile.
~Returned to the binging state of self loathing until I could barely fit my size whatsit's again, all the while trying to maintain a pleasant and happy facade.
~Repeated this cycle. Over, and over, and over again.

Ah crap. I'm two sheets to the wind. Tanked.  Shit-faced. Wasted. 
I've spent so many years of my life doing all of these things. 

If you too are drunk after this game then you, my friend, are who I'm writing this for. 

And maybe, just maybe, you've experienced similar feelings, but for a different physical injustice. Maybe your style of self loathing is of a different brand.
This is for you too.

Over the next 6 days, I'm going to share with you 6 tools that I've used to remove myself from this horribly destructive state of existence.
You can adapt and apply these tools to any sort of unkindness you've directed at yourself. It is my hope that at least a couple, if not all of them will be of value to you too.

Why is it important for us to love our bodies? 
Because we can't love ourselves without loving our bodies. They're interconnected. 

Your body cradles your soul.  (<----- Click to tweet)

Unfortunately in our society, there's way more emphasis placed on external appearances than internal ones. This misguided focus causes us to waste much of our energies beating ourselves up for not looking a certain way, which leaves us with very limited amounts of energy left over to direct towards getting to know and love our non-physical selves... this is where our desires, our talents, our passions, our gifts to the world reside. This is our true beauty. 

In order to access the true inner beauty we must respect it's counterpart... the body.

Yes, I realize we just made a big circle-y loop. This is a true conundrum, when it comes to this matter.

It's a classic chicken and egg scenario...
what comes first, the healthy mind & soul, or the healthy body?

I can't answer this for all of you, all I can do is share what's worked for me, which was restructuring the relationship I had with my body so that the two could work in unison, as a partnership. 

I had to grasp the fact that it's the most important relationship that I'll ever possess in my lifetime. My body is my best friend, my lover, my daughter, my brother, my grandma....

You might be thinking I'm off my rocker.... That kooky Chandra girl has lost her mind!

I'm going to share with you the very first thing I did to love my body. If you still think I'm nutso after that, I'll understand... but I have a feeling your soul might just resonate with the craziness of my ways.

Numero Uno! Throw away your scale.

Make a list of all the unkind things you say to yourself or do to your body. Such as any of the ones I've listed above. (I'm waiting)

Now imagine in your mind's eye your most dearest loved one. This could be your husband, your girlfriend, your grandma, your pet parakeet. For me, Miss M (my 12 year old daughter) works best. 

Now, go back to the list that you just made and imagine saying and doing all of those thing to your loved ones. 

So for me it might look  something like this: 
M! Get over here on this scale right this minute. Oh my God... you've not lost a single pound!! I don't know why... I only gave you two crackers and a glass of water for supper last night! You get your fat ass on that treadmill now!

That's absurd! Right?!  I would not dream of saying that to my daughter.

So, why would we treat ourselves this way if we would 'never EVER' dream of treating the people we love in a similar fashion?
Run these imaginary scenarios for every single unkind thing you've done or said to yourself.
Every. Single. One. 

Forgive yourself for being so awful. You've been doing the best that you've known how up until now, but it's time to move on. Tell yourself that you're going to be kinder. Ask for your body for patience with you during this restructuring phase (don't worry, it's very understanding). Say "I Love You"... it loves you back. I promise.

Now here's the action step to Numero Uno, of 6 Ways to Love Your Body:

Gather up all the tools you've been using to beat yourself up. The scales, the calorie calculators, the diet books, the stupid work out videos that make you feel like a bumbling buffoon every time you do them, the list of awful stuff you just wrote, etc. 

Toss it in the dumpster. Donate it to the Goodwill. Burn it. Throw it off the top of a tall building. Whatever feels best. Today is a new fucking day.

 I love you. Your body loves you. And so should you.

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  1. Thank you, you "kooky" chick, I really needed to hear this today.

    1. You're so very welcome, love.
      We take the things that have been the most difficult for ourselves, and use them to hopefully help others in their moments of need... this way the heart aches and tough times all hold a greater purpose.

      So glad you're here... whomever you are :D

  2. I loved what you said about imagining saying this to a loved one. I'd never thought of it like that! But that's a really powerful image. I'm loving this blog!


    1. Thank you! So happy you're here!
      I don't recall at what point in time, or why I started thinking of it like that either, but it's completely changed my life.

      Have I mentioned how glad I am that you're here? ;)


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